Monday, August 16, 2010

Hey, it's all good. But...


Thank you, Dr. Laura! This chick, laura schlessinger, has sparked a new racial debate concerning the N Word, and ultimately, racism in a Post-President Obama Era. An African-American woman called into her show seeking advice about her White husband's racially insensitive family. Somehow, laura thought that meant it was the opportunity to talk about how black comics use the N word on HBO. And then the best part was, laura told the caller before hanging up on her "If you're that hypersensitive about color and don't have a sense of humor, don't marry outside of your race,". I guess, somehow, black comics and HBO have officially become the representatives of all black people in the world. Not sure I see the connection, but doesn't matter. What I have to say to little miss laura is "it's all good". As a child of God and an American woman, you have every right to say whatever the hell you want to say. Good on you. Don't apologize for it. I actually wouldn't have minded if you had used it 100 more times. Get it off your chest. NOW...with that being said, let me say this. I feel that just like you feel like you have the right to do/say whatever you want to say. We have the right to find you while you're walking to your car, and bash your face in. Consequences and Repercussions. Cause and Effect. You call me a Nigga, I punch you in the mouth. You call me a Nigga twice, I hit you in the temple with a brick. Simple math to me. Black folks, we have begun to rely on other people to fight our battles for us. News reports and Al Sharptons and everybody else doing it in the limelight. But we, as black people, should take matters into our own hands.

You can fool whoever you want to with this whole "there's a black president in office so clearly racism doesn't exist" shit all you want. But you ain't fooling me. Racism is charged and worse than I've ever seen it in my lifetime. And I've been called quite my share of Niggas growing up in St. Louis, MO. But my friends and I didn't call our moms. Or Jesse Jackson. Nope. We walked around with a pocket full of rocks and if you decided to drive by and get a nice loud "nigga" off of your chest, your back window was coming out. After awhile, they'd get tired of replacing a rear windshield and putting little baby Jon Doe's head in danger while he's sitting in his child's seat in the back. Cause and Effect.

These tea baggers are out there with their guns and poster boards spreading fear and talking about how they have the right to bare arms. 1st of all, you'd NEVER see a large group of ANYBODY with guns protesting outside of the white house with ANY OTHER PRESIDENT. Talking about how it's their right to bare arms. It just wouldn't happen. But whatever, all good. Let's move past that. Keep your guns and do your thing. But I say, people of color, we join the tea baggers. Go out there with weapons, locked and loaded with signs that say "We Got Gunz 2". Write it that way to make sure they can read it. They rally? We rally. They protest. We march right beside 'em, ready to protect our rights (and our President) by whatever means necessary. You tea baggers act crazy. But let me introduce you to my Uncles Turtle, Dale and Donnie standing amongst you with some automatic weapons aimed at your head. You ain't seen that type of crazy yet. At the very least, it'll make you want to rethink all of that nonsense fox news has been shoving down your throat. They forgot to tell you that "We Got Gunz 2". Consequences and Repercussions.

See, I'm good on all of these fake apologies. You don't have to apologize to me. Because you're not sorry. It's actually more disrespectful and I'd rather you just stick by what you said. Be a woman/man about it. I'd rather see laura with her two front teeth knocked out and a swollen eye and taking the elevator to work because she's in a wheelchair. I could guarantee you she wouldn't say the N word ever again. Matter of fact, she might just delete the letter N from her vocabulary all together.

So here's my theory on the N word. People have been debating and trying to explain why it should or shouldn't be said. I'll make it simple. You say it, you deal with the consequences. And I'm not talking about your job. I'm talking about your livelihood. No more talking. They don't listen to reasonable thinkers and speakers. Sometimes you have to deal with a child like a child. Get on their level. With force and rallies and protests. Make noise. Slap somebody. Break something. Stop trying to reason with unreasonable people. Stand your ground and grow a backbone and the next person that says the N word around you and you don't like it, fuck it. Hit 'em with a bat. My father told me at a young age that a nigger didn't have anything to do with the color of your skin. A nigger simply meant that someone was ignorant. So laura, let me be the first person to call you a nigger. And definitely with the 'er'. Not the 'a'. Because you've earned it.

"A wise man never argues with a fool. Onlookers may not be able to tell the difference." -Mark Twain

"Now you wanna walk around talking about guns, like I ain't got none, what you think I sold 'em all?" -Dr. Dre

14 comments:

Traci said...

Hilarious!

Anonymous said...

Well said *clap clap bravo*

Anonymous said...

Poppin off at its finest!

Larry D. Halstead said...

You had me in stitches, tears running down my cheeks. OMG that is some funny mess! I read it twice; the second time out loud to my wife. She was dying hearing it! The second time through I started going into a Chris Rock sounding routine with it. I can totally see someone like Chris doing this onstage and word for word. Great stuff! Big kudos! If you aren't currently earning money as a comedy writer, you certainly should be! I'm larrydhalstead on twitter, which is where I saw the link (by my friend's RT who is the co-producer of The Family Guy. If you are on twitter, give me a shout and I'll tweet about your blog for you.

Anonymous said...

I guess I just don't get it...Your other commenters seem to think this is funny, but I don't see the humor. I see nothing more than an angry rant. That being said, here are my two biggest problems:

1. The word "Nigger" (or "Nigga") should NEVER be used, period! Not by blacks, not by whites, not by latinos, nor asians...Not by ANYBODY! It is derogatory and inflammatory.
2. Violence should NEVER be used to combat prejudice...It only leads to further resentment and (in this case) "proves" that some stereotypes are deserved, and in fact, true.

I know that Dr Laura is a douche, but why you allow her words to incite you in this way is beyond me. She's a worthless fool. Write it off. Get over it. She doesn't KNOW anything!

If you truly want racial equality, it would behoove you to follow the model set forth by MLK, not Malcolm X.

J Lee said...

Thanks for commenting, everybody.

Whether the N word is used or not actually isn't my point. The last commenter suggests that people should 'get over it' but I say to you that we have been 'getting over it' for quite some time now. So I think we've done our due diligence in that department. But if you can give me a rough time line of how long we can expect to 'get over it' every time someone does something like this, I'm all ears. Because these instances of racial slip-ups are occurring more and more frequently nowadays.

And I'm not sure what stereotype you refer to that would be proven, but if being called something hateful for years and years and then finally taking a stand to not be called it anymore confirms some type of stereotype, I'll gladly take it. Again, we've been talking and waiting and hoping that people will stop being racist, but unfortunately, that's not working. It's 2010. And I've seen more racist actions and heard more racist things than I can truly comprehend. So, again, my whole point is that the fight isn't over. Yeah, the civil rights happened and people think that that solved everything. But it hasn't and that fight is still ever-present and ongoing. And personally, I'm just personally tired of 'getting over it'.

Anonymous said...

I think you misunderstood my comment...

I agree with you 100% that racism still exists in America. It is truly shameful and abhorrent! And, I again, agree with you on the issue of the civil rights movement. It was a step in the right direction, but we are still a LONG way from equality.

I never meant for my words to imply that you should live with racial pejoratives being thrown in your face. I HATE the N-word, and wish it could just be abolished from the American vocabulary. Unfortunately, its use among the ignorant and uneducated allow it to live on. When I say "get over it," I mean get over what Dr Laura said. She is a fool. No one should listen to anything that comes out of her mouth. Ever! My point was, simply, don't let her incite you. She is a worthless being. Even more, she is a sorry excuse for a human being. Your time and energy could be better spent.

The stereotype I am referring to is that blacks are aggressive. It is not a fair stereotype, but it is a real one. I made that point in response to your calling on "people of color" to take up arms and join the douches protesting the Obama presidency. It won't help. In fact, I think it would only compound the problem. Those assholes have an agenda and there is no reasoning with the unreasonable.

Bottom line is this: Racism is REAL. And it SUCKS! Unfortunately, we can't rely on a miracle to make it go away. It just won't happen. All we can do is count every small step as a victory and keep trucking along....

J Lee said...

I understand and well put. I appreciate the comments!

Larry D. Halstead said...

Part 1.
I have a history in civil rights which includes the Tyisha Miller matter (google it for more info; it was in Riverside, CA) I have always adhered strictly to the MLK model of non-violence in every way. It was a highlight and a privilege to be arrested with his son MLK III, and Rev. Sharpton, Dick Gregory, and others in that matter.
But the truth is that MLK style, my style is EXACTLY what the racist of the world would most prefer. They are not threatened with that style and it has zero effect on them. It's only value is in bringing incremental change by bringing media attention to a problem and thus a marginal interest by the non-bigots who join voices for change.
During the two years we sustained weekly protest on the Tyisha Miller matter, we often had support and participation from those who had less appreciation of our nonviolent style. These included the the anarchist, The Nation of Islam, and others with no affiliations. I often angered the Christian pastors by suggesting that the Nation should be allowed to come in and do their thing. My rationale was that they scare the hell out of white folk. I always took comfort knowing that not everyone was as nonviolent as myself and that the bigots we were up against had little ability to tell the difference.
The teabaggers led by the likes of Sharon Angle are really pushing the whole notion of their "Second Amendment Remedies" and went as far as to say we need to "take out Harry Reid" in that same sentence.
I didn't really read J. Lee's post here as advocating violence. He was writing in a style that was hilarious, loaded with satire. And the point that comes through loud and clear is that if some white racist cracker out there had read this post, they might well think twice about shouting the N-bomb as they drove by a black person.
(Continued on next comment)

Larry D. Halstead said...

Part Two
As far as the whole idea of "getting over it already" I reject that notion completely. The promise land that MLK spoke of has not arrived just because we have a half black president. We are seeing an increase in racism not a decrease.
We can all agree that Dr. Laura, Beck, Rush, etc are douchebags but I don't think it helps any cause to either ignore them or suggest anyone just 'get over' it. These people need to be called out on it each and every time they open their damn mouths.
As Olbermann so skillfully pointed out, it was not the use of the N word that was the most offensive. It was her attitude toward the caller (who in all fairness was foolish enough to ask Dr. Laura advice on anything). It was that Dr. Laura wanted to take the opportunity to make some stupid, unrelated points on who gets the use the N word and how she felt totally justified in using it herself. 12 times.
But in the process she was rude and dismissive to her caller. Telling her she needed to 'get over it' and that she was being "too sensitive" and went as far as to say she shouldn't have married a white husband.
My point is this; crazy bigots like Dr. Laura get a free pass when we just ignore it or when we attempt to just 'get over it'. These people need to be called out each and every time. We need to put a spotlight on them. She should lose her job over it and not necessarily for the use of the N word but for all of the other bigotry and ignorance that went with it.
Beck has lost a third of his viewers and almost all of his advertisers because of progressives (like @StopBeck on twitter) putting a spotlight on him every time he opens his mouth and says something stupid.
Finally, I want to add that slavery was NOT ended with nonviolence, civil disobedience, or 'getting over it.' Neither was our independence. Our country is more divided than ever in my lifetime. If the next revolution, civil war, ever comes; people on the right need to know that they are not the only ones with the guns; that they are not the only ones who feel strongly about their "Second Amendment Remedies". I myself will be forced to reconsider my nonviolent, anti-gun, values. But in the meantime an "In Your Face" is the best, most effective, position for any progressive activist to assume.
J Lee, I fully endorse the underlying message of what you are trying to say here and I stand by my comments that it was funny as hell. Thanks for connecting with me on twitter and thanks for the great post! Peace my brotha!

catsandknitting said...

this is brilliant.

Sarah Snarky said...

My stepdad is a very white, very bigoted jackass who has some strange problem with anyone who isn't white. I know, it sucks. But think about it this way for a second...who really wins if you beat the crap out of him? You'd go to jail, and I can hear his smug, self assured voice already. The only way to beat these guys is to not let them get to you. I'm glad I don't know what it's like to be called the N-word. But I do know that smashing someone's face in doesn't help.

Sam the Man said...

This is hilarious and I couldn't stop reading, nice job!

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