Monday, November 13, 2006

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How To:

This is a 'how to' blog. I'll probably do a new 'how to' blog every week or so just so I can teach others how to do some things that I know how to do. We'll first start with

1) NEVER SAY WHAT YOU'RE THINKING. While you are listening to her tell you her feelings and why she feels a certain way, and why you're wrong...take a moment. Think of what you are going to say. Because no matter what comes out of your mouth, it will be written in the books and taken as law. You will not be able to take your statements back. Choose your words carefully.

2) FIGURE OUT WHAT THE HELL YOU'RE ARGUING ABOUT IN THE 1ST PLACE. A lot of times, women argue the most recent subject or thing that you just said, not the point. So the more you speak without thinking of how you're going to place your words (see #1) the more you move further and further from the point at hand. Example.

Her : Why don't you ever buy me flowers?
You : Aww baby, I don't need flowers to tell you I love you.
Her: Speaking of, when is the last time you told me I loved you.
You: The other day, right before I went to play basketball with the fellas.
Her: Why do you always have to hang out with your friends playing stupid basketball. Can't we just spend a weekend together? Are your friends more important that me? ETC ETC ETC

You get my drift. Don't get caught in the trap. Because before you know it, you'll have said 10 different 'incorrect' things that will set her off on other reasons why she wants to argue.

3) FIND A RESOLUTION. There's nothing worse than having a drag down, name calling, heated argument and not coming up with a resolution. Because if you do that, you've basically wasted minutes of your life on a subject that neither of you see eye to eye on. Doesn't matter what the resolution is. Just come to one. "Hey, I've realized that when you talk to me on Wednesdays, we have bad days. So maybe on Wednesdays, we should just avoid each other". or "Hey, you're crazy." Whatever the resolution is, come to one. Because if you argue about something once, there's really no need to argue about it again is there? But this is only IF, you come to a resolution.

4) YOU DON'T MATTER. Nothing you say or do, matters. Stop bringing up past times when you did something great that she loved and disproves her current point. Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter if she's arguing about the fact that you never cook, but she happened to forget that you just cooked last night and she's eating the leftovers in between yelling at you. Doesn't matter. You're wrong. You're a jerk. And you don't matter. Stop being honest and say what she wants to hear. Women always talk about how they want their men to be honest and express their feelings. If you believe that you're an idiot. That's a flat out lie. No woman wants to hear "Nah, tonight I'd rather do something with my friends instead of with you". Trust me. She says "just be honest with me and tell me how you really feel". What she really means is "if you decide to do anything besides what I want to do, you hate me. You're selfish, and she should be with somebody that appreciates and adores her 28/9 and not be with your dusty ass" Well you say to me, "J...that's a lie. I shouldn't lie to my girl". I say to you avoid the argument at all cost, enjoy the rest of your day, and live to argue on another one.

That is all for today. Hope you learned something. Have a good day.

J Lee

Saturday, November 11, 2006


Okay, so it's Saturday. I'm sitting around my house doing a bunch of nothing because that's what I like to do with my weekend. Relax. I spend a lot of the week hustlin and workin, but now it's my time to chill....ANYWAY, I'm watching TV and this new show comes on. Before I tell you what it's called, let me tell you that it bothers me. Why does it bother me? I'll tell you.

Okay, I'm not a person who gets up on soap boxes and tells people what to do or how to act, but eventually you have to sit back and take a look at what you do. First of all, the show is called "Hip Hop Hold 'Em" which sounds like a good idea. It brings celebrities from the hip hop world together to play a lil poker. The reason the show pisses me off, is because it is soooo stereotypically 'black' I can't begin to enjoy it. Most of the people they bring on the show don't even know how to play which causes for some pretty bad poker. They've got two show hosts who are completely opposite. (A token white guy who knows how to play cards but he can't act too white, so he tries to act a lil hip which makes him look even more dumb, and a token random black guy who is hip but doesn't know a damn thing about poker, which ends up being a funny 2 man team because they both make each other look stupid without knowing it)... the post production looks like it was editied in imovie (random porno like star wipes, horrible music, and a blah poker room), they've got a bunch of half naked women walking around for no reason (who's idea was this? They're not even doing anything. I could see if they were serving drinks, or dealing cards, or something..but nope. Because that's what black people do. Right? They get half naked and listen to hip hop and count money. Right? That's what we all do.)

Now I'm mad because, I'm assuming they are trying to reach a particular audience with this show. My guess is 18-30 year old African Americans. If this is the audience that they are attracting, as an audience member, you've got to feel pretty dumb that this is all you get. This is what they think 'you all' want to see. A group of 'suits' sat around before they shot the first episode and said 'how can we attract our audience'. And somebody said something to the effect of 'hmm, black people you say? Well, they like their women to be half naked, counting money (not investing it), rims, and being loud. So let's just do that" Let me give you an analogy.

I work at Subway. I want to attract this same crowd; 18-30 year old African Americans. You come in and I give you a lame ass, stale, nasty, half baked sandwich and I expect that this is what you want to eat. You don't deserve any better than what I gave you. Why? Because this is what you guys eat. So shut up and eat it. That's what they serve you down the street. Why would I pull out my GOOD bread, or my FRESH meat for you? You don't ask for it. You just take what I give you. So see ya, bye, eat your stale sandwich and be gone.

But the truth is, we all don't want that crap. We all don't want to eat that sandwich. We all don't want to watch a group of young African Americans embarrass themselves on television by thinking that a 8 2 off suit is really a good hand. We don't want to see them not knowing how to count their chips. We don't want to see them get excited about the pointless half naked women on the show when they should be concentrating on their hand and what charity they're playing for. We don't want that. But if we expect to change what they give us, we've got to change ourselves first. Until our music and videos are more than just ass shaking and counting money, the world will continue to see us as ignorant, ghetto, horrible with money, women degrading, black folk. I love being black. I wouldn't have it any other way. I love hip hop music. I love black families. I like nice things. I like money. But I also love being intelligent. I also love having 2 degrees from college. I love having dreams and goals and not living in the 'now' but preparing for the future. And I think far too often, people (not just black people) don't understand that you can have both. You can be black and intelligent. It's not 1 or the other.

Well, I'm done. I'll tell you one thing though. As soon as I get a lil bit of screen time, people are going to hear what I have to say. And the crazy thing about it is, the majority of African Americans are not like they portray on television. But we keep on eating that stale sandwich and they're making money off of it. So why should they give you the good bread?

"The media's the most powerful entity on earth. They have the power to make the innocent guilty and to make the guilty innocent, and that's power. Because they control the minds of the masses"
-Malcom X

About Me

Just a guy trying to put his stamp on the world. Everything else you need to know about me, will probably be in this blog.