Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Speechless...

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This is a good friend of mine. Lauren Crowner. It hurts my heart to even say this but, she passed away earlier today (Tuesday, August 22nd 2006). To make matters worse, it was her 25th birthday. She was in a car accident, suffered a mild head injury, went home for the weekend, and her injury escalated into one of our worst fears. It was such an untimely death. Unexpected isn't even the word. When dealing with death, and especially a death like this one, the mind just can't grasp the 'why's or when's'. It just can't. Lauren was (is...I don't even know what to say) the most beautiful and positive person I ever met. I met her at Indiana University my freshman year (1999). Just off of looks, she was already one of the most popular people at the university. She was gorgeous. Then once you got to know her, actually sit down and speak with her you found out she was more than that. She was articulated. Educated. A person with just positive energy. Goals, dreams...you name it. She had it. I also had the pleasure of being her 'brother'. She was a member of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc. Man, when the Alphas crossed, and then the AKA's crossed haha..Indiana University wasn't ready for us! 19 Epiphany came through and IU honestly wasn't the same. Lauren was on that line.

When you talk about timing being completely off...I mean, on her birthday. Lord, I know everything happens for a reason but...this is a tough one. You know they say you should never take things for granted but that's much easier said than done. She was following her dreams. A journalism major, she found a great job working for NBC 4 in Columbus, OH. My thoughts are all screwed and mixed up but I'm just typing.

I'm mad, angry, sad, scared, thankful for my life and blessings...thankful that she left such a positive legacy. Thankful that she was such a good person. I can only hope that people feel the same way about me once I pass on. You just can't say one fucking bad thing about her. I just don't know what to say. Speechless. And I'm not even going to try to answer why, 'cause that'll just give me a bigger headache. I'll shed more tears and I'll still feel like I have no answers. And this is just how I feel. I can only imagine how her close friends feel. Carrie, Mandy, Aundrea, Meisha, Rose..the whole 19. Her family. I can't even imagine how hard this is. But to everyone who is touched by this death, to everybody who got the pleasure to meet Lauren, to everybody who she inspired...you're also in my thoughts and prayers. She had such a short life, but an important one.

I'm just going to take this time to say I love you and thank you to all of my friends and family. There are far too many to list, but you know who you are. From my Mom, to Gary and my boys from St. Louis, to 540 and 222, to my baby girl Carrie, to everybody I've ever met and had a chance to befriend...know that I appreciate you all. Life is short and you never know when your time to go may be. So Love God. Enjoy life and the time that you are here. And take this as a wake-up call if nothing else. Death is one of the only certainties in life. So don't fear death. Lauren is in a much better place right now than we can ever imagine. God makes no mistakes. We may not understand his reasoning, but he makes a way not sometimes...but all the time. So just take time right now to say a prayer for her and her family. Be grateful for the many many many blessings that you have right now....

peace

J Lee

Friday, August 11, 2006

Finally

Hard work pays off. I don't believe there is a thing called luck. I think there are blessings and I believe if you work hard you will see results. And then on top of that, if you keep things right, the man upstairs will help you out. But the thing to remember is, it's not supposed to happen when YOU think it should. Or when YOU want it to. It happens when it's supposed to happen.

I'm finally SAG now. I booked my first union, nicely paying, acting gig and I feel good about it. I feel like I deserved it. I've been in LA a solid 2 years now (I was getting away with telling people 1 1/2 for the longest) but I've come to grips with my time in LA. And it hasn't been the easiest of roads, but it sure as hell ain't the toughest thing in life. Again, if you know how to get your hustle on and 'do' instead of 'talk', you'll start 'seeing' results and instead of 'hoping' for them. So now, I've gotten past a nice little hurdle in the road to the top. I told you I'd be giving you updates, the good and the bad, as my journey continues. But there's plenty more work to do...so I'mma stop talking and get back to doing. But just wanted to enjoy it for a brief second...ya dig?

Holla

'Make no assumptions, I'm hustling"
J Lee

Sunday, August 06, 2006

It ain't easy

Life isn't always the easiest. You ever just have a bad day? Like the stars just aren't lined up right? The world's a little on tilt? And the bad part about it is that you can't really do anything about it. Just gotta take your lumps. Take your bad days. And nobody wants to be in a bad mood, and for damn sure, nobody wants to be in a bad mood and not know why. But sometimes it happens. And you just gotta chalk it up as a loss and pray that the next day is better than today. And maybe during that bad day of yours, you happened to learn something. Who knows...when life gives you lemons throw them bitches back and ask for chocolate covered strawberries is what I say.


I'm sitting here with a handful of lemons but my waiter is nowhere to be found. I want to return these lemons and get ccs's.

I'm out
-whatever

About Me

Just a guy trying to put his stamp on the world. Everything else you need to know about me, will probably be in this blog.